pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
