I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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