Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
