Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
