okay pat passed out under dana's car
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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