Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
