You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
