Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
