i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I believe in your delicious
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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