Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I bet he comes in French.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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