Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
