Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
