2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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