Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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