O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
