i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
