the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
