All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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