i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
