help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
