We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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