We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
