So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I have feelings that need drinking.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
