i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
