hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
