she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
