is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
