Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I believe in your delicious
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
