im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
