i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
