Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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