I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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