Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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