Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you would pick up someone in the library
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
