put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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