The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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