Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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