I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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