guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
