let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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