this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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