so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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