you would pick up someone in the library
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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