I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
