Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
