the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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