it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
