the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
