Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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