My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
